Conservative Politics = Increase The Debt?

Tell me... what is conservative about allowing our debt load limit to increase? Anyone?

"The Senate voted Thursday to allow the national debt to swell to nearly $9 trillion, preventing a first-ever default on U.S. Treasury notes.

The bill passed by a 52-48 vote. The increase to $9 trillion represents about $30,000 for every man, woman and child in the United States. The bill now goes to President Bush for his signature.

The measure allows the government to pay for the war in Iraq and finance Medicare and other big federal programs without raising taxes. It passed hours before the House was expected to approve another $91 billion to fund the war in Iraq and provide more aid to hurricane victims."

From: CNN

Starship Dimensions

OK, geeks, this website is for you! Ever want to know just how big SDF-1 might be next to an Imperial Cruiser? Well here is your chance.
This website, STARSHIP DIMENSIONS, compares everything from a 747 jumbo jet all the way up to the largest spacecraft in SF-dom. I could spend hours gawking at all this info. No really. I could. Check these scale comparisons out... this is a Sovereign class (Enterprise E) vs. 747 Jumbo Jet vs. Godzilla:

Suave Bill O'Reilly

I just couldn't pass this up. Bill O'Reilly is just so damn suave! Yes, some fine duds from this 1975 pic, accompanied by his handwritten letter to a producer.


From The Smoking Gun:

O'Reilly was pictured on the shopper's cover in some fly 70s finery--fur collared-coat, dark shirt/dark tie combo, moptop, and what appears to be muttonchops.

Click these for the full size versions:

I know this is peanut gallery material, but he really needs some better handwriting skills:

My Funny AOL Work Story

Once upon a time, I was a phone monkey at AOL. I worked tech support for about 11 months. I was burned out and was moved to something called "Tech Saves". My job was to try to "save" AOL members' accounts when they called in to cancel. They gave me an arsenal of tools and freebies to get these members to stay on just a little longer. So after someone miraculously got through the automated system and I picked up their call, my job was to get them to stay with AOL by fixing their issues, soothing them with my smooth talk, remind them of all the values of membership, oh and of course, give away free months of AOL.

Many members picked up on the free months of AOL part.

These members would call in and gripe and complain until the Saves person gave them some free months of AOL membership. They would repeatedly do this. Of course, AOL's internal policy was to limit the number of free months a member could get to 3. The Saves people work on commission, though, and the higher your retention, the higher your commission. So some members would have months and months worth of free membership because the Saves person would simply grant another month of membership in order to up their retention rate.

I wasn't very good at this. I can't sell things I don't really believe in, so I had a tough time. My retention rate was horrible, and I was on the verge of being fired. The supervisors were listening in all the time.

One bright and sunny day, I received a call from a member wanting to cancel his membership. He sounded distracted, but also like he was reading from a script. I thought at first that this might be a test call to see if I was doing what I was supposed to be. I pulled up the member's history. This guy had called every month for 14 straight months resulting in 14 free months of AOL in a row. It wasn't a test call, but instead a very well-versed system abuser, and well, I just didn't feel like feeding this guy another month.

So I let him give his spiel about how the service sucks, he gets disconnected, already called tech support, etc, etc. A good five minutes later, he finally lets up and I interject, "So you want to cancel your service?"

"Yes, I want to cancel, unless there is something you can do.", alluding to yet another free month.

"From what you said, it doesn't look like there is much I can do. Are you sure you want to cancel?" I asked again with my mouse pointer hovering over the "Cancel Account" button.

"Yes."

I clicked.

What followed was a short silence at the other end of the phone followed by a muffled AOL signoff screen saying "Goodbye!"

Another short silence.

The ensuing screaming from this now-former AOL member was like music to my ears.

Cursing.

Screaming.

More cursing.

More screaming.

He was even more incredulous when I asked him if he would like to be transferred to Cendant for a very special travel offer.

I quit a week later.

Funny Email

I wouldn't normally do this, but I thought this was funny enough to share. This is from one of those chain email jokes (I know, groan!). I had tears rolling out of my eyes by the time I was done reading:

Dear Diary,

For my fiftieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 30 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

Called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.


MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess -- with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile.

Woo Hoo!!!!!

Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around.

This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!


TUESDAY: I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.

I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.


WEDNESDAY: The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?

Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other sh*t too.


THURSDAY: Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room.

She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.


FRIDAY: I hate that b*tch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps. And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the m*th*rf*cking barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.

Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?


SATURDAY: Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner.

However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.


SUNDAY: I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over.

I will also pray that next year, my wife (the b*tch), will choose a gift for me that is fun like a root canal or a vasectomy.